Friday, 19 February 2016
Story #178 - Dealing with a heckler
"Oi, mate, suck my shorts."
"I'd love to, but fiber is bad for my stomach. I'll tell you what, though. If your girlfriend sucks my penis, I might reconsider. I'll feel bad at first, but then I'll feel good."
"I don't have a girlfriend."
"Oh. I see. So you have Pam and her 5 sisters. I'm sure you were waiting to go home tonight and do one, but because of what I said, you'll do it tomorrow morning. A fast and cranky one. And you'll spray your walls. You'll teach that Banksy that he's not the master of graffiti, since he doesn't know about jizzffiti. Your bathroom walls will look so different that your flatmates will wonder what the fuck's going on. And why the window is so wide open. Then they'll notice the spots people used to make in toilet stalls and tell you to get out, but not before you wipe."
And like that, the guy left the room.