Saturday, 19 September 2015
Story #25 - A performer's mind goes awry
Frank was waiting, in the dressing room. He wasn't a big shot, but he was the last one to go in. The space had five chairs, all being used by the group that is onstage now.
He watched them change clothes, nonchalantly, from his corner, where he had nothing. He wondered how some people get to pull all the shots even though they're not the headline act. How they can take all the furniture and the mirrors and everything else, and leave the rest with only the floor to change on.
Right now, Frank felt that he was at a crucial point in his career where if he blew one, or maybe even two shows, he'd have to abandon it. He'd have to raise his hands in shame and say "You know what? I gave it a decent go and failed miserably." Who wants to say that, anyway? What sane performer would like to say that and be happy about it? The day after would probably the worst day of their life. They'd want to go back on stage, but they know they suck, but they still would like to. It's a thrill. It brings them to life. There's no way they would quit, even if they aren't making money. It keeps them out at night. It makes them feel something that they cannot feel otherwise.
Frank was kinda the same. Except that he was close to fifty right now. His skin wasn't looking particularly well, either. Whenever he met people and started to talk to them, they'd look a bit shocked, roll their eyes for a second, and find a way to excuse themselves. It made him feel bad. It made him lose all the energy. Like right now.
He was talking to the gang that, about their show and what they'll deliver. And all they said was "Yeah," "Sure," and "Something." It irked him so much. He couldn't fathom how some would be like this. Maybe they didn't want to talk to him because he is much older. He can only speculate.
Except that he's tired of it. He feels it was the last straw. He has been carrying it with him for the past month, waiting and waiting, until somebody snubbed him the wrong way. Not that there's a good way, but some are more decent than others.
He took it out, put it over the lightbulb, made sure it was tight, then he stood high on the chair, placed his head into the hole, closed his eyes, and jumped.