Story #11 - Marriage counseling

"I'm so glad I have you both with me," she said as she crossed her legs, showing us how immaculate her red satin skirt was.
"I'm not," my wife said. Her arms by her sides, her lower lip raised, her eyes focusing on the floor, probably on an imaginary lint roll.
"See. That's what I go through all the time," I said, not sitting beside her, but on the carpet in front of our couch.
"Oh, stop it. Everybody has had enough of your finger pointing. Nobody in my family likes you..."
"Nobody in mine likes you either," I interrupt her, turn around, and see how she gets red in the face. Delightful.
"You never do anything around the house, or in it for that matter. Not even the trash."
"Hey, you don't complain about the bed."
"Is that your salvation, you think? One good, but small, thing?"
"Small, ey? You seem to be less stressed after that." Of course, this is partially true, but if we're busting each other's chops, I am allowed to have my fun. Speaking of which, she's almost like a beetroot right now.
Standing up, she's going to the window, palms in jeans pockets. As soon as she stopped, she raised her right leg a bit, enough to roll it on the carpet, like you do when you hurt your ankle. Maybe I made her blush?
"Okay. You two like to argue a lot, from what I understand," red satin skirt said. "There's not a lot of desire right now. I think you're better off with a divorce."
I'm shocked. What? "Huh? We came to you to help us out, and all you say is divorce? Not even one solution?"
"I've done this before, and I've had people who were at wits end with one another. Even when I gave them something to do at home, they broke up. I'm sorry, I'd like to help, but there's no hope for you two. You want to get on with your lives, and being together is not part of your future."
After she finished, my wife turned around, smiling, looking like her usual pale self. Which is good since I would've cracked if I would've seen the beetroot again.
"I agree with that. We should split. There's no point in having this meeting. I knew it. He did as well. Yet, we were both hopeful that something different might come out of it. Guess we were wrong, like most of our couple decisions. Right?"
"Yeah, kinda. Well, we wouldn't have lasted five years with only good choices. There's always bound to be something bad lurking around."
"I think we should go home and work on it ourselves. We don't need a third party."
"Finally want to try a new system?"
"Yes. I'm ready for anything."
I stood up. My wife joined me. We clasped our palms and went to the door. I gave a look to red satin skirt and she looked stumped. Then I opened the metallic frame that was in front of us.