Story #12 - Your cutlery is old

"We, cutlery, have been together for a long time now. And we look in such a sorry state that I don't know why we're still together."
"I know. My tines are all dented, apart from the middle one. Now I look like a skewer that has lost its comrades."
"Your middle one, when shown to someone else, strikes laughter in the humans. But at least you do something nice. I can't pick up anything anymore. Not even a little bit of water. Alas, that's what happens when you're bent to the other side, with your scoop to the inside. I feel so cramped."
"And I thought I was the useless one. Who ever heard of a knife without any cutting edge? I can't probably stab people either. Actually, he uses me to arrange his haircut."
"How long do you think we'll be here until?"
"Until he gets bored with us. Or someone tells him to throw us out."
"Come to think of it, I haven't seen him in a while. I've seen a cockroach recently, though."
"Ew."
"I don't remember that."
"It's better. Its legs went all over us. Ugh, that noise. It'll make me bend over even more."
"That's not possible."
"Shh... Listen."
"Do you hear that? A girl is talking to him about us."
"And he's taking our side."
"She wants us in the thrash."
"She should go there."
"She's actually telling him to choose between her and us."
"That's a bit drastic."
"I know."
"Whoa."
"She slapped him."
"He chose us."
"I haven't had this much excitement since I was a regular knife, cutting through everything, especially butter. Feeling how I made it smooth..."
"Putting that jam on top..."
"Eating pickles..."
"Pickles?"
"Forks are weird, what can you expect?"
"Hey, screw you. I had fun being dunked."
"Then go get dunked in acid."
"Y..."
"Where is this coming from?"
"I'm sorry. Got heated there a bit. That's how knives are."
"Spoons are the best. We're lean, we're chill, we're the children's best friends."
"I'm going to sleep."
"Yeah."
"Why?"