Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Story #197 - Stuck in the shadows

Life has never been easy on me. I don't remember much of my early years, as I feel I woke up at the ripe old age of seven.
Whenever I ask my family, they say that I was a child like any other, smiling, laughing, eating a lot. I have never, not once, heard them talk about me going out and having fun with friends. Looking at myself in the mirror every day, I can see why.
I think the first time I did that I stopped smiling.
I'm nine now. I haven't been outside since. Not even for flu shots, doctor check-ups, school. Not to mention walks in the park, grocery shopping, or to some show, like a movie or the circus. I couldn't. My parents kept begging me to do it, but I said no, and that was that.
Instead, I'd look out the window. I'd feel the fresh air pouring its gusts my way, as if it's inviting me to join it, to join the other children laughing and giggling and playing, to go out there and be smothered by the rays of sunshine.
Yet, I can't. I just can't.
I have this bad feeling that I will be laughed at. Or be pitied, which would be worse.
And I shouldn't feel like this. Maybe I am seeking something bad to happen and if it would I'd be crumbled to pieces.
Until that time comes, until I convince myself that I can go and lead a life as normal as I could under my conditions, I'll have to be confined here, in this dinky room, complaining about my lack of legs.

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