Friday 17 June 2016

Story #297 - Slimming camp

"Do you reckon this guy will make us slim down?"
"Nothing will make me lose weight. I don't have the will for it anymore."
"Yeah, I feel the same."
A short pause as the Bootcamp guy steps in front of the self-confessed overweight fellows.
"Alright. Are you ready for that beach body?"
Crickets.
"Good. I know you love to eat. I do, too. But there's a difference between what I eat, and what you eat."
"Next thing you'll tell us to is to eat fruit."
"Yes."
"I'm quitting."
"You're not getting a refund."
"Okay, I'll stick around."
That would make people laugh anywhere, apart from here, where crickets were still given.
For every ten push-up that you do, you're allowed a piece of regular fruit, and by regular, I don't dipped in yogurt, caramelized, fried, or some other fancy schmancy thing you guys got going on. I mean a regular one. And, if you really crave that horse manure junk food, you can have some...once you give me one hundred push-ups."
"That's just not fair."
"It's your money. Shouldn't have entered if you think that. Now start pushing and stop flapping."

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