Saturday, 23 July 2016

Story #333 - How to not pick up a girl

Have you ever wondered if the candy trick works on picking up girls? I have. And I've tried it out once. The result was mesmerizing. It comes in handy if you're a bellend who doesn't know what to say, so I approached her and had the following conversation.
"I wanted to tell you something."
"That your eyes are as sweet as the candy I have in my pocket."
"I don't know what you're selling, but I'm not buying."
"Just complimenting you."
"That was the weirdest compliment I've had in my life."
"Okay. Would you like some candy to brighten your mood?"
"I'm trying to meet you half-way. Just like your dad did to your mom. He offered her candy."
And then she slapped me. I sure know how to bring the weirdness in people.

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