Sunday, 10 November 2013

Mock book review - flash fiction

"Dear Michael,

Thank you for making me your first book reviewer.
I remember when you said you spent five years on it. I was stunned.
When I opened the package, the cover jumped out at me. Red flames engulfing fog, and a shiny ring in the middle, as if it was ruling over them. I never pictured "Flaming Rings" could be so vivid and genius looking.

Those 230 pages flipped by so fast. It took me less than a minute, actually, since that's how I read.
But, to put it bluntly, I didn't enjoy it. You used too many stuffy words like "pompous," "inadmissibility," or, my favorite one, "scrumptioulicious."
I understand the need to "spread out" your vocabulary, however, this is not the way to do it. At least not in an autobiography.

I would suggest a thorough rewrite of the work before submitting it to the press.

Your sweet bean pasta,

P.S. You little smoocher, putting kisses and hearts on the first page. Made me giggle."

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