Friday, 29 November 2013
Thursday, 28 November 2013
So, I went to the market square earlier because I had to buy some fruit.
But when I got there, the sellers and the passers-by gathered in a circle.
I managed to make my way in and saw a man twitching on the ground.
His fingers moved in every direction as the moronic mob sucked out his air.
It's inexplicable to me how they could act like that.
Nobody called for an ambulance, so I did it, but by the time they arrived, twenty minutes or so later, he drew his last breath and they were all do-se-do-ing around his lifeless body.
I wanted to throw rotten tomatoes at them, but there were none around, so I just left.
Thursday, 21 November 2013
Thursday, 14 November 2013
Anyway, it's now ten p.m. and a few hours ago a creep jumped me.
After I finished my nightly run on my usual --beach-- route, a guy tiptoed from behind and grabbed me.
First, he put his hand over my chest, then covered my mouth with his other one.
Next thing I know I closed my eyes, inhaled and pulled him over with an uchi mata, a judo technique. Then I punched his nose and thrust my knee in his neck. He fell asleep right away.
Although it crept me out at first, it was a good practice for my judo, as I felt rusty these past few days.
And to think he caught me off guard. Me, whose hearing is top notch. Guess I have to re-learn it.
Wednesday, 13 November 2013
Tuesday, 12 November 2013
A little boy found a little toy over by a boulder.
He picked it up, glanced at it, then smashed it over the rock.
Another little boy joined. Blinking with his mouth wide, he sobbed.
The first boy threw the toy in his face and laughed as he walked away.
A tooth fell down along with snot, tears and his knees.
He threw dust aside, wiped his bloodied mouth and left the ground.
Another victim of the toy destroyer.
Monday, 11 November 2013
Journal Entry #65427
Another delightful day.
It started absolutely smashing. The alarm should have gone off at four a.m., but it didn't and I woke up at fife-thirty. I was supposed to be at work then. So I had to explain to the boss that a neighbor came by with her child and I had to take care of it all night. Obviously, I was out clubbing with the girls.
Moving on, it was pretty uneventful at the office. A woman in her mid-twenties strolled off the elevator wearing nothing but green stilettos. She said she wanted to have sex with everyone inside, but offered no real reason as to why. The chief and his lackeys pounced on her right away.
Hours passed and we didn't see her back, then we heard a bang, a window getting smashed and plenty of screaming.
We rushed to his office and saw blood. The two lackeys jumped out, while the chief was dead, with his face in her crotch. The woman was hysterical in her soundless laughter.
A slight dizziness overcame me, so I went back to my desk, put my head in my cupped hands and closed my eyes.
When I opened them, it was nighttime and I was alone at the office. I even shouted, but only heard my echo. Hah, what fun I had with that. Anyway, I went home right away and turned on the news.
Apparently, the woman had a disease that drove people bonkers. And yet, it didn't affect me, but it hit the others some way or the other.
My eyes were hazy on the way over, and they still are. I think I'll get some sleep bef...
Sunday, 10 November 2013
Thank you for making me your first book reviewer.
I remember when you said you spent five years on it. I was stunned.
When I opened the package, the cover jumped out at me. Red flames engulfing fog, and a shiny ring in the middle, as if it was ruling over them. I never pictured "Flaming Rings" could be so vivid and genius looking.
Those 230 pages flipped by so fast. It took me less than a minute, actually, since that's how I read.
But, to put it bluntly, I didn't enjoy it. You used too many stuffy words like "pompous," "inadmissibility," or, my favorite one, "scrumptioulicious."
I understand the need to "spread out" your vocabulary, however, this is not the way to do it. At least not in an autobiography.
I would suggest a thorough rewrite of the work before submitting it to the press.
Your sweet bean pasta,
P.S. You little smoocher, putting kisses and hearts on the first page. Made me giggle."
Saturday, 9 November 2013
"That move. Are you blind, or what?"
"Can't you see I'm reading a book?"
"Bah. Sports are more important than those silly words."
"I beg to differ."
"Of course you... Goooaaalll!"
"Ugh. You're so noisy."